Research and Prepare

When I was six months pregnant with my first child, I had lost hope with my doctors. I truly felt like a file chart, that was actually seen by four different ObGyn's, and still had to see two more. I just literally gave up and said to my husband, "Let's do some internet searching on homebirth." The statement turned into a research project, one that was more interesting than doing one in high school or college. We found two midwives that were considered local in NE Ohio, both were respectively over an hour away. The first midwife we saw was nice, but we didn't really connect with her, and you need that so we went to the next midwife on our list. Amazingly, she was all that we were hoping for! Pam Kolanz lives in Chagrin Falls, a little bit of a drive, but every appointment was well worth it. Normally at a doctors office you wait 40-45 minutes and see the him for 5-10 minutes. It was total opposite here with Pam! Some meetings could go well for an hour and a half~ you lose track of time with her, and it seemed like she didn't mind at all.
Meetings with my midwife helped smooth out any questions we had, checking on the baby, talking about my nutrition, my state of health, ---you name it we went over it! In combination with seeing my midwife, I also read a lot of books out there about homebirth, did even more extensive research on the internet, and talked with other women out there who have given birth naturally (meaning no drugs whatsoever and birthing your baby vaginally).
I really felt prepared with all that I read about, baby shower was over and done with, had my birth kit all set up in the bedroom, then just anxiously awaiting for the baby to arrive....(I was like this for all three). Waiting, waiting, waiting...
Oh! Today is the day---call Pam---inform everybody the baby is coming. Are we ready? Am I?! You can prepare yourself as much as you want, but I still felt nervous and anxious for each birth. I questioned myself, Can I do this? I know I can, I've done it before...but, it might be different this time. Then, after each birth, as I sat there holding my newborn babe, contentment powerfully swarmed over me. I let out a huge sigh, it's over now, the baby is in my arms.